"Hunter's City Limits."

By: Anthony Hummerston.

STARRING:
'Mama',   Rojic,   Jimmi,   Karnov,   Niall,     Kory  
And introducing:
Joe-90 and Hen3ry
as the droids.

AND
Storm Cutter
their ship.

Jimmi says. “I still can’t believe that Kory kissed him!”

Niall quotes an old gag. “That’s why I never kiss ‘em on the lips!”

“Well, between the official’s howling, and Kory kissing everything in sight, it’s a wonder the whole city doesn’t know we’re here!”

Kory counters. “But I wouldn't want to go on living if I thought it was all just eating, and sleeping, and taking my clothes off.” She corrects herself. “I mean putting them on.....!”

The others are still thinking over this Freudian slip, when Kory says. “Besides, the more they look at me, the less they look at you!”

Karnov tells her.“You really are the limit, Kory.”

Rojic flutters over. “I’m sure it’s part of the mating ritual. These ‘hoo-mans’ breed like Squib you know!”

Niall says. “They’re like the Lannik”

“I think you mean the Kushiban. Lannik are short humanoids with big ears.”

“It’s the ears that get me confused. They always make ripples in the force that give me the wiggins!”

Niall is reminiscing. “I was at the academy with one. Quiet type. He sat in the corner a lot.”

Karnov says. “Funny, but I don’t remember him…..”

“He was six feet three and a half inches tall! How can you not remember him?”

“I still don’t recall anyone like that.”

“He’s a Pooka.” Niall tells Karnov, winding him up even more.

Jimmi asks. “What? A six-foot boxing rabbit thing?”

“That’s ‘Palooka.’ –Stupid!”

With a twinkle in her eye, Kory says. “I could go and fetch him if you’d like. -For a price.”

“Now, you get him down here, Kory, even if you have to do a striptease!”

Jimmi shudders. “Y’know sometimes I’m kinda glad I’m blind.”

Rojic says. “The sight of Kory doing a striptease would make you want to rip your eyes out!”

Niall says. “It’s a price I’d pay….After the event!”

Kory: “What? you think I'm overdressed?”
Everyone else: “Is that Kory? -I hadn't noticed!”

Jimmi prompts Karnov. “Anyway, this whole rabbit thing, -he’s making it up….Or is he?”

Niall observes. “That’s why they call it fiction!”

Finally the penny drops. “You lot! You’re such wind up merchants!”

“Talking of merchants, we’d better get shot of all this cargo, before someone twigs that it isn’t on the level.”

They make their way up the street. It’s a visual feast of people and droids and aliens, -for those with eyes that is. For Jimmi, it’s a feast of sounds and feelings, and some of them are far from pleasant. Soon enough they spy the Hanged Man, and step inside.

“What a wonderful smell you’ve discovered! It’s a heady mix of sweat, fear, crime, fear and narcotic substances.”

Karnov says. “You said 'fear' twice.”

Niall replies. “I like fear!”

Only Rojic seems pleased. “What a great atmosphere!”

“I expect that you can buy slices of it behind the bar!”

Suddenly Rojic looks up. Above him, dozens of Toydarians are hovering above his head, grouped around several floating tables. Best of all, there is a roulette wheel spinning, and the distinctive sound of a house edge of greater than ten percent. Rojic leaves the others a few peggats for drinks, and joins the gaming table. Soon he is using his great skill, knowledge and cunning to good effect.

“But you always bet on green!”

“That’s because on a forty two slot wheel, there are six greens. -Zero to sextuple zero. The odds of it coming up green are one in seven. I don’t bet on the table, as any zero is a loss. I take side bets from the tourists!”

“You know, you’re devious, ruthless and mercenary!”

“You just listed all my best points!”

Jimmi orders sangria. “In a dirty glass with six straws!” Niall opts instead for Bantha milk. He then complains that it’s the wrong shade of blue.

“That’s the ultra violet lamps, sir. They keep the flies away.” Niall looks up. “Yeah. Nasty infection you’ve got here!”

In the main bar, there are several lowlifes making snide comments behind Karnov’s back. He can’t see their lips move, so he can’t hear them. He ignores them. Then they make their vitriolic comments to his face.

“I think the Jedi are overrated Republic puppets!”

“Yeah, I have to agree. This here Quarren is a particularly good example of toadying nepotism.”

Oblivious, Karnov is telling the others. “I didn’t really study much at the academy. I got an unpaid internship, and got in.”

“Just like your father before you. He’s no Jedi either!”

Karnov seems proud. “Internships run strong in my family!”

Up above, Rojic is looking pleased at his massive pile of gambling chips. So pleased that for once, he goes against the run of the wheel and shoves all but a few of them forward, all on red nineteen, a couple on planet, two each on dog and moon. The croupier spins the wheel. “No more bets please.”

A rough looking Toydarian grabs Rojic roughly.

“Heydoo! Wattooda th'heloo youdoo try'atoo pool'da heera? -Stoopeedo!”

Rojic looks at what the fellow is indicating. There, quite plainly in view, is Rojic’s rather meagre pile of chips. He’s bet the entire stack of the other fellow’s chips on the wheel. Things are looking pretty bleak for our Toydarian. The ball rattles into its slot and the wheel slows.

“Nineteen. Red.” The croupier announces. “Second dozen. Pay on suns and moons only. Planets are worth double and mice at five to four. -And all stations south of Fenchurch Street are wild.”

The fellow puts a hand to a blaster. Rojic fast talks his way around the situation. “Here, take it all! I’ve made more than double the stake. Please, take it, and I apologise.”

“I think you owe me a drink as well!”

“Okay. No problem. My mistake!”

Having pacified his fellow Toydarian, Rojic and the fellow start to talk. “What brings you here?” The fellow asks him.

“A ship that you’d never believe.”

“You’re fresh out of republic space eh?”

“Well, we seem to be spinning around the galaxy a bit, but yes.”

“You know, that when you stop spiralling, the only way is down. –Down the plughole that is.”

“Oh, so you’ve seen our ship?”

The fellow sips his drink. “So are you here for the games?”

“I hear that they are depraved, bloodthirsty, disreputable and….” He lowers his voice. “Fixed. –Not really my cup of Bantha milk, but any name I should be looking out for?”

“I’m no pundit, but there’s a battle droid, ‘IG-89’ coming up the rankings. Very ruthless and very capable. It draws a big crowd too. Might be worth a peggat or ten on the next fight. –Especially if it’s somebody else’s money!”

“Are you still carrying that bear?”

“You betcha!”

IG-89 Relaxing at home after a tough day shooting squishies.

Rojic’s head is spinning. What if he could get Joe-90 into the games? –He could rig him up to kill, main, rip, render and maybe even make a quick buck in the process. He makes his excuses and leaves, fluttering down to Kory who is trying to broker a deal.

He interrupts. “Kory, could you programme Joe-90 to take part in the games? –We could make a lot of money….”

“We could also end up with a box of droid parts.”

“It’s not much more than that now!”

Kory thinks. “I might be able to programme him, given some weeks. –But who’s going to test it. You?”

“You be I could!”

“Joe-90 would be shooting at you, trying to kill you. He’s vicious enough even in ‘safe mode. ’”

Rojic concedes. “Maybe I’ll leave the testing to someone more experienced.”

“I think you mean ‘Expendable.’”

“Exactly. Expendable!”

Jimmi is touring around. There is a strange sensation in the force. It’s centred around a woman in a booth who is servicing paying customers. ^{[ 30 ]}

The current customer gets up to leave, glowers at Jimmi and pushes past. Jimmi feels a kindred spirit. It’s a woman with a fringe. Feeling nervously compelled to sit at her table, suddenly it’s Jimmi’s turn.

“Put your money down, and I’ll read your fortune, maybe see what you might not.” Jimmi tries to sense her motive. It basically comes down to ‘I’ll read your fortune if you give me money.’ ^{[ 31 ]} Jimmi decides to take a punt.

Nervously Jimmi babbles. “Okay. Only if you could see with your eyes that which where I’ve been with mine that you couldn’t see with what I can’t see with yours. Or mine. -Or ours, or something….Er….”

She reassures the Miralukan, and gestures for Jimmi to sit down and relax. “You’re going on a long journey!” The woman says.

“I’ve just been on one.”

“You’ll meet a tall, dark stranger.”

“What sex is this tall dark stranger?”

“Who would you like to meet?”

Jimmi thinks. “Okay, skip that!”

“You’ll be floating high soon enough, running short of credit.”

Now really intrigued, Jimmi prompts her. “-And?”

“End of credit. Do please come again!”

Jimmi is disappointed, and starts to leave. The woman suddenly gasps. “There’s a taint of sin around you!” She says.

Jimmi is quick to retort. “That’d be Kory’s perfume!” After a pause, Jimmi adds. “Your talents are wasted here.”

Rojic has been eavesdropping. “I ought to report her to trading standards.”

Kory says. “This is Hutt space. There are no standards!”

Meanwhile Karnov is acting dumb. It’s a hardly quantum leap for him. He is acting stupid, and repeating everything that’s being said to him. A patron says. “There’s a funny smell around here. It started right about the time you walked in.”

Karnov repeats. “There’s a funny smell around here. It started right about the time you walked in.”

Kory is haggling with a Rodian. He’s quite adamant that it’s a buyer’s market, and that Kory’s asking price of fifteen thousand republic credits is far too much for their cargo. –Especially as it consists of cheap trinkets, gizmos and knock-offs, -good though they might be.

In a stage whisper, Kory says. “I could easily pass this stuff off to any stupid Toydarian.” Although Rojic can hear her, he refuses to dignify a comment like that in order to be her shill. Finally Kory and the Rodian haggle the price to thirteen thousand and five hundred. The Rodian departs to arrange the finances. Kory shoots a look at Rojic. He shoots her a look back. The Rodian takes this opportunity to get a sneaky peek at her face.

Niall is ensconced in a booth. And though he feels a bit strange, doesn’t have a funny turn. He is quite content looking at the local scenery. There are a few stellar bodies at the bar. A Toydarian floats by, with money and a wallet precariously sticking out of his bandana. Niall is tempted to relive him of his burden, but then reasons that it would be wrong to use the force to steal. Instead he points it out to the inattentive Toydarian, who is grateful. Kory comes over, and tells him. “Sometimes you need eyes in the back of your head here!” Jimmi turns to the stellar bodies at the bar, and observes. “Sometimes it’d be nice to have them in the front too!”

Jimmi turns back to the woman, who has followed Jimmi to the table. She seems drawn to our heroes, and introduces herself as ‘Tetha.’ She asks Jimmi’s business, and Jimmi obliges by telling her about the dark side crystals, being mined and then energised, before being spread around various star systems by ships like Rose Wanderer. “They appear to be blocking communications via the force.” Jimmi tells her.

“I think of that as disturbing, but why did you come here? –After all, the Hutts don’t care about the force.”

“We’re tracking the shuttle, one of our only leads. It’s owned and possibly run by a Neimoidian named Roake Khan.” The woman thinks for a bit. Then she says. “With the Jedi’s powers reduced, maybe the Hutts can see an opportunity to expand their territory. What do you think?”

Karnov remains silent. Niall says. “I don’t much care for the Hutts. They don’t exactly make it safe to walk the streets”

Jimmi points out. “So don’t walk around here!”

“One day,” She says cryptically, looking into the future. “The streets will be safe to walk along. –And the deputy Sith will be the green cross code man!” ^{[ 32 ]}

A thought strikes Jimmi. “Can you see our shuttle?”

“I don’t see shuttles. –The force is very weak around inorganic compounds. –Though there are several secure docking bays that a shuttle might put down in. –And by the way, that might be another fortune telling fee….”

“I’ll repay you in kind –Not that kind of kind!” Jimmi tells her, while concentrating on her. Suddenly a vision appears. It is of Tetha gasping for breath in the street, her life-force fading fast.

“I might have put you in danger, I shouldn’t have come!”

Niall is being propositioned by Kory’s Rodian contact, who is offering all sorts of illicit things. “Such as?” Niall prompts.

“Droids, death sticks, saucy holograms….”

“And?”

“Twenty thousand worth of gizmos, gadgets and legitimate knock-offs!”

Niall is dismissive. “For that money, I could go to Kolto, and stock up with a hundred thousand litres of artificial Bacta.”

“Okay it’s nearly the same, but not as valuable as the real thing.”

“True, but it does taste of pineapple!”

Karnov has found someone else to parrot. They say. “Jedi aren’t welcome around here. They make people unhappy and nervous. – Guilty even. –A bit like priests.” Karnov repeats this to his antagonistic counterpart, but it doesn’t get any more heated. They dismiss Karnov as an idiot. He doesn’t give them any opportunity to doubt it.

Jimmi is keen to get Tetha away. Persuading the others takes time, especially with Karnov still repeating everything that anyone says to him. Finally they decide to escort her to a safer place, or at least the Bespin Bar, -though Jimmi admits to not having much of a plan.

“That’s your plan? She’s gonna die on the street, and you want to take her through the streets to her inevitable death. –On the street! Where she's gonna die!”

Jimmi scowls at Rojic. “Will you keep your voice down, she might hear you!”

“She’s a clairvoyant; she knew what I was going to say today, yesterday!”

“Well if you want to see tomorrow, I suggest you keep your mouth shut. -Yesterday!”

Finally they disguise Tetha as a man dressed as a woman posing as a man, and sneak her out the back way and into an alley. From there they make slow and careful progress across town, keeping away from the streets and in the alleys, using an improvised map.

After a few minutes have passed, they can hear shouting in the next street. They poke their heads out of the alley, and see across the way a uniformed man face down in the dust. Niall and Karnov leave the others guarding Tetha and sprint across the gap. The man is unconscious, and Niall deduces that he’s been clunked on the head by something heavy.

“I’d say a bit of lead piping about eighteen inches long, and around an inch in diameter, weighing about eight pounds.”

“How could you possibly know that Sherlock?”

“Coz there is a bit of piping here in the gutter, about the right size, with fresh blood on it.”

“Okay, so you might be right. But how did you know the weight?”

“I’m a Miralukan. I used the force. Besides, at the village fete, I can always guess the weight of the cake to the nearest ounce.”

“That’s some skill you have there.”

“Nope, just a handy app for my communicator.”

Just then, they hear shouts coming along the street. “Clear the way! Keep back! Back please! Clear the way!” Niall and Karnov look out, and see more of the uniformed men coming along the street, and behind them a large Hutt on a hover sled. Around him are four bodyguards of varying types.

They signal the officer on their side, and point out the fact that one of their number is lying unconscious in the alley. “He needs a spell in hospital. –Better still, a bout in a Bacta tank. Failing that, a Bacta pro-biotic drink.”

The officer is suspicious. He stops the procession, and asks what exactly is going on. Rojic wades in with his succinct summing up of the situation. “One of your guys has been bonked in the alley!” Kory is quick to take offence. “Not by me!”

Behind them, Tetha is trembling.

Jimmi obseves. “You’re trembling.”

“I’m not trembling.” Tetha says. Jimmi puts a hand on her, underneath the hand, she’s trembling.

“Stop that. Your hands are dirty!” She says.

“My hands are always dirty. What are you afraid of?”

“It’s that Hutt. -I’ve have dealings with him before.”

“-And?”

“And maybe I told him a few fortunes he didn’t want to hear.”

Meantime Niall is telling the guard that they’ve managed to stabilise his colleague. “I used this special dermal mending spray.”

“That looks like a can of Mama’s hull sealant.”

“Well, at least it’s better than the shake and vac that Jimmi handed me!”

Suddenly, while the officers are distracted, the air is full of hot blaster bolts. Several of the entourage have drawn weapons and are firing into the Hutt. The front two are keeping the guards on their toes by blasting them.

Rojic is quickest off the mark. He flutters in on the closest antagonist, and buzzes him like a confused fruit bat. The bodyguard fires at him, and misses. Karnov ignites his lightsabre and wades into the nearest guard. In a chopping motion, he slices a big slice out of the man.

Kory blasts away at a blue robed bodyguard, who is blasting the Hutt. The man sidesteps, right into Kory’s shot! Jimmi steps closer to Tetha, and covers her body with his. It’s a good thing too, as a shot comes his way, injuring him, but saving her. The officers are getting in on the act, helping our heroes shoot the fake bodyguards. The Hutt can’t exactly duck, but lashes out with his tail. But one of the bodyguards is too quick, and jumps the tail like a skipping rope before firing again.

Niall places a carefully aimed shot into the red bodyguard, and badly injures his target. Kory is using Niall as cover, and steps out in time to shoot and kill the blue bodyguard. Niall shoots and kills another. Kory sidesteps back into shooting range as the guards open fire again. Karnov reverses his cut, and the bodyguard in front of him tumbles down to the dirt in two pieces. The remining bodyguards are blasted enough to render them unconscious. Niall goes forward to render aid to the Hutt who warns him. “Careful where you put those hands!”

“He’s not a real doctor, he hasn't said ‘stat’ yet!”

The officer captain introduces himself as Captain Reed, and the Hutt as Tingear (The Hutt.)

Tingear asks “Who are these assassins?”

Nobody knows. Jimmi is about to speak when he feels a tremor in the force....

TO BE CONTINUED......NEXT EPISODE:

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Footnotes. (Click numbers to return to the story.)

[ 30 ]    Not that kind of service! Stop sniggering in the back! It's a good thing Jim's not here!
[ 31 ]    "Stupid!"
[ 32 ]    If you've read this far, you must know that David Prowse was Darth Vader, and the Green Cross Code man.