HOME"The Asset Test."
Written and Directed by:
Paul Burton.
Fiction by: Paul Burton and Anthony Hummerston.
STARRING:
Rojic,
Jimmi,
Karnov,
Niall,
Kory,
Mama
And introducing:
And special guest stars:
Kima Venn A dashing young slicer/pilot.
AND
Hen3ry , Joe-9T, Henry and 'Blinkie.'
as the droids.
AND
Storm Cutter
their wreckage.
And re-introducing:
Colonel Castor D'Estrella,
an officer in the Republic Navy....
(Phew!)
“Fire!”
Niall rapidly regains his wits. Hard-wired reflexes cut in.
“Fire?” He yelps, twisting around, and away from the muzzle of the blaster aimed at his temple.
His hand goes instinctively to his belt, but alas, his lightsabre is not there. Instead, he kicks at the door, and the man on the other side is knocked back a step. At this point, just as Niall is about to use his limited, -but effective- martial arts on his antagonist, familiar laughter crosses the room beyond. Niall squints at his opponent. There, in a smart navy uniform, is a familiar face.
D’Estrella.
Standing there, rather confused is Major D’Estrella. Niall remembers him instantly, and offers a hand of friendship. “Major. I’m sorry, but I get awfully twitchy when someone puts a gun to my head.”
“I apologise too, but we couldn’t be too sure. –And it’s not ‘major’ any more!”
The others come to the door. Beyond is a lounge area, where patients and visitors can mingle. There are two other people sitting in comfortable chairs across a low table.
Rojic blurts out. “It’s that major fellow- the one that nearly got us all killed!”
D’Estrella taps at the additional code cylinder on his rank insignia.
“It’s not major any more, as I was telling mister Niall here.”
“Congratulations on your promotion…..Colonel.” Kory says, smoothly.
“At last! A young lady who knows her officers.”
The others try really, really hard not to snigger.
The major as they knew him.
In the moment of quiet, as they take the subtle change in, the other visitor asks a question.
“What….” The voice is familiar, and laced with menace. “….Have you done with my ship?” A large, well-built lady stands up. Her hand placed a little too close to a blaster for comfort.
The others are rather taken aback. Standing there is a very cross Mama!
Jimmi is the first to react. “It’s only a temporary setback. It’s all under control. You shouldn’t get to tense about it. –Very bad for the posture….Would you like a massage?”
Mama glowers at Jimmi. After a moment, she calms down, but only a little.
“Tell me that something survived!” She demands.
Niall shakes his head.
“The Bacta tank?” Mama asks.
“No.”
“The fridge light?”
“No.”
“My collection of priceless Ronto plushes?”
“No.”
“Hen3ry?”
“Could be…..Er….But no.”
“Anything? -The loot, the cargo, the treasure?”
“No. They all were destroyed in the really big and destructive explosion….I….I’m not helping much am I?”
“Tell me you at least have salvage rights!”
Colonel D’Estrella coughs. “That’s why I’m here….”
Mama interrupts him.
“Well at least you lost that good-for-nothing, former-Sith assassin droid. -The really useless one. I hated him. What was his name…..?”
The others start to point nervously at Joe-9T In the corner.
“At your service…..” Joe-9T says in a familiar purr, leaving off any honorific.
“That’s right…. Joe-90.” Mama says, scowling at him, and then smiling with embarrassment.
“I believe you mean Joe-9T.”
“You say potato….” Mama replies.
Karnov asks, “What’s a potato?”
“Like a dried-up Mon Calamari.”
“Aha!”
Rojic flutters over to the droid. “What’s with the name change, Joe?”
“You see sir; I never saw it written down, and with my name being a homophone…. It took a while for me to realise that my designation ‘Joe-9T’ was being pronounced Joe-90. –Incorrectly!”
“When did you see it written down?”
“When the technicians disassembled me. But now I'm a new droid!”
“Do you still have that violent streak?”
“Even bigger than ever, sir!”
The new Joe-9T!
Niall coughs. “I think that Karnov has something to reveal as well.”
“Do I?” Karnov closes her robe a little.
“Karnov isn’t a ‘he’; -she’s a ‘she.’”
“Well one couldn’t tell…. The surgery is almost invisible….”
Karnov clarifies. “It’s all Master Junn's mistake. He introduced me as a male of my species. In my culture the words for gender are freely and completely interchangeable.”
Rojic is about to say, “Once a squid, always a squid!” But Karnov’s blue eyes stare at him so fiercely that he thinks better of it.
“I always wondered about the pink bows and the ‘Hello Wookiee’ bathrobes.” Niall says, and that appears to be the end of the matter.
“Now that we’ve cleared that up…..” D’Estrella says, “There is a small matter that we left rather unresolved…..-And since the Republic needs you as much as you need them, we thought that we might negotiate a little salvage in return for a little mediation.”
They all sit down. A droid serves light refreshments. Joe-9T is given a light bulb. He crunches it with relish.
Kory explains. “Remember Niall’s girlfriend….”
“Girlfriend?” Mama interrupts, almost spraying everyone with her drink.
“She’s not my girlfriend!” Niall rebuts.
Kory says, “So she’s just a slave girl that you took advantage of?”
“Yes! I mean no!” Niall squirms with embarrassment.
The colonel stops them. “Lieutenant-Commander Oona. She turned out to be a force-sensitive separatist spy.”
"Remember me?"
Niall is about to stick his tongue out at Kory, but doesn’t. “She was not my girlfriend.”
Karnov says, “Besides, pursuing intimate relations with another being is a violation of the Jedi code, I think.”
“It’s alright,” Cuts in Rojic, “He’s no Jedi.”
“Oh,” replies Kory, the wind taken out of her fury. “I suppose that makes it okay then?”
Niall stumbles for some defence against the charge. “She was working for a notorious crime lord who was trying to steal our evil stuff, well the evil stuff we nicked from them.”
The others sheepishly look anywhere but at Niall and Kory as she skewers him with an especially hard stare.
She responds quietly and in a sweetly-reasonable tone which says only one thing. ‘You are so dead!’ “No Niall. She was owned by a notorious crime lord. -One of the worst there is. Who happens to be holding her little sister.”
For a moment, Niall is shamed into silence.
The colonel continues. “Oona was more slippery than a Slime-snake. It would appear that after the Republic took her into custody, they couldn’t find much to hold her on. Obviously with the Jedi sealing their allegiance to the Republic, they’re very interested in one such as her. However, she has refused to turn double-agent unless her younger sister is released from service from Igbo the notorious crime-lord. Obviously the Republic can’t be seen to be dealing with his kind, nor stepping on the toes of the Hutts.”
Rojic points out that Hutts don’t have toes. “Metaphorically they do.” The colonel tells him, and continues, “So in return for searching for your ship among the wreckage of the Tenacity, we’d like you to act as go-betweens with Igbo and the Republic.”
Rojic is dismissive. “Pfft! I don’t see any mileage in it.”
Mama glowers at him. “If it means there’s a chance to save Storm Cutter, it’s preferable to shooting you here on the spot and doing it all myself. Besides, there might be profit in it. –Salvage rights, repairs carried out at the expense of the Republic, freelance legalised looting. -After all, they kinda owe you after you saved Coruscant and the Jedi order.”
“We’re big damn heroes!” Niall says, his confidence restored.
Kory condescendingly pats Rojic’s newly-healed head. “Well, ‘little’ damn heroes.”
D’Estrella raises his eyebrows. “So we have a deal?”
“I rather think we have to have a deal.” Kory responds. “Only I’ve got some loose ends to tie up here. -I may join you later.”
“Well secure us a cargo while you’re at it. If we return with Storm Cutter, we might need stuff to take to Hutt space when we go.” Rojic tells her, winking.
Kory is feeling better already. “I'd prefer a dodgy trade to all this sneaking around.”
“Do we have any more info?” Karnov asks.
“Oh yes,” says Kory, “This Igbo of Rodia is one of the worst criminal masterminds in the Galaxy. Even the Hutts cross the skyline to avoid him.”
“We know someone like that.” Niall says, shooting a look at Rojic.
Kory ignores him. “He runs most of the slave trade on the Corellian run, has a fleet of smugglers scouring the outer rim for illicit merchandise and has a virtual monopoly on the vice trade in half of the core. He is also vicious, vindictive, cruel, and mean. He runs his operations from New Plympto. You won’t get close to him without something to trade.”
“Not even my kind of scum.” Mama says, without much conviction.
D’Estrella interrupts. “Nobody’s kind of scum. Don’t even ask what happened to his grandmother.”
“What happened to his grandmother?” Karnov asks. D’Estrella won’t elaborate.
Igbo.
Kory continues. “He has a few foibles. He keeps a menagerie of creatures from all over the Galaxy, mostly predators and unpleasant parasites and is always looking to add new and exotic examples; -the more deadly the better. He might well be interested in something exotic and deadly.”
“Anything else?”
“Failing that he is interested in weapons, especially Rodian long guns, -it’s a cultural thing. I happen to know where there is one you might be able to steal.”
“And how do you know this?”
“A source.” Kory says, not willing to divulge anything else.
“A source?”
“A source.” Kory reiterates. “I didn’t just serve drinks in that bar you know.”
Rojic makes an obscene gesture behind her back. The others hold their nerve and not a flicker passes their faces. Kory spins around, but fails to catch Rojic in the act. Kory adds, “There’s a Hutt named Chalabba, on Favella-Two. He's reputed to have such an item that you might steal.”
Karnov erupts with anger again. “Jedi do not steal.”
“You could try another possibility. He has a fascination for Jedi and Sith artefacts.”
“No!” Shout Niall and Karnov simultaneously.
“-Thought not!” Kory replies. “-And by the way, don't breathe a word of me around Chalabba.” The others cross their hearts and hope to become force-ghosts.
“Stealing is such an emotive word.” Mama says, and then adds, “You still say that, right?”
“Yes.” Niall says.
Jimmi adds, “The only thing we don’t say, is ‘I have a bad feeling about this’ – we were finding that as soon as we said that, bad things happened.”
“Yeah, it had a tendency to jinx stuff.”
“You just said it right there!” Mama points out.
“Ah, yes…. -But it’s okay to quote.” Jimmi grins at her. “I’ll counter the curse by leaving the operating theatre, spin around three times, spit, curse, and then knock to be allowed back in.”
“You Miralukans have such eccentric superstitions.”
“Thankyou, my lady Macbeth!”
Rojic asks, “What creature did you have in mind, major?”
“It’s ‘colonel.’”
“Whatever!” Rojic says under his breath. The colonel doesn’t hear. He taps a few things into a holoprojector. “I was thinking of a Nexu.” He lets the image from the device project its image above his hand.
Jimmi sings, “Warm kitty, soft kitty, -little ball of fur….”
They all look at Jimmi who asks, “What?”
“That thing is four meters long with eighteen-inch teeth!”
“Do you mean eighteen teeth an inch long?” Jimmi asks, knowing the answer already.
“No. eighteen teeth, eighteen inches long.”
Mama says, “Okayyyyy…….So stealing the long-gun…..”
Karnov erupts again. “Jedi do not steal.” She calms down a little. Karnov lays down her position. “I have certain reservations, such as it being immoral, illegal and unethical. I’ll have you know that I’m here to uphold law and order, as a ‘Nadawan’ of the Jedi order!”
Rojic coughs, “Eighteen-inch teeth!”
Karnov changes her tune. “Okay so we nick this gun, and scoot straight to Igbo. -Count me in!”
Jimmi, who has been following intently, suddenly asks, “By the way, Karnov, what’s a ‘Nadawan?’”
“Like a Padawan, but starting with a ‘nern.’ Not ‘peth.’ -Not yet a Jedi, yet not quite a Padawan.”
Jimmi asks, “Then shouldn’t it be ‘Nedi?’”
“Okay, well technically yes, but that would get an even bigger laugh than ‘Padawan!’”
Mama has been thinking. “You know, if I were you lot, then I’d deploy an old tactic that served you all well in the past.”
“-And what is that?”
“Borrow something in good faith….AND THEN LOSE IT IN A POINTLESSLY MASSIVE EXPLOSION!”
Blasted by Mama’s tone, Jimmi tries to sooth her. “Still sore about that are we?”
“‘Till the day I die!” She shoots back.
“I can arrange that!”
“Yeah? You and who’s clone army?”
D’Estrella calls them to order. “The Republic is prepared to fund a ‘seek, locate, un-destroy’ mission back to the ‘i’ of Anobis. In return for your ‘aggressive negotiations’ with Igbo. We’ll provide a salvage ship, a pilot, tools and equipment. – Though heaven knows why you’d want Storm Cutter over a brand-new ship. -The asset value is practically nil.”
“‘Coz Mama says so. –Besides if we pitch up in a Republic ship, straight off the production line, Igbo will metaphorically smell a rat.”
“He might literally smell a rat if we pitch up in Storm Cutter!”
“We don’t even know if it survived the explosion.”
“It better had for your sake.” Mama prompts.
“Why so?”
“Because after I’ve finished with you, Igbo’ll be coming to me for advice!”
Kory has been doing some quick research. “A kitty hunt it is…..Maybe. -Here is everything I have on Cholganna, home of the Nexu. -It’s out beyond Gamorr. Meantime, I’m off to New Plympto to find out more about Igbo’s operation. I’ll contact you when you get there. Good luck… Oh and Niall….May the force be with you, sweetie!” She blows him a kiss and heads off to prepare for her undercover mission. Embarrassed, Niall tries to play it down. Rojic makes the rude gesture again behind his back!
“Get your kit together. Meet back here at sixteen-hundred.” D’Estralla tells them, sounding suddenly very business-like. A frown crosses Karnov’s brow. “That’s military-speak for teatime.” Niall tells her. Jimmi gets out a harp.
“What’s that for?”
“I’m thinking of expanding my repertoire.”
Mama comments that it’ll probably find plenty of room for expansion in the debris field. “We can let it float off with the other garbage!”
Rojic adds. “-And it’ll sound better in zero atmosphere too!”
At the allotted time, they follow the colonel to a nearby spaceport. In bay ninety-four they see a young woman in a Republic uniform performing final checks on a Firespray-31 patrol ship. She looks up as they approach. It is hard not to notice that she is quite attractive. The colonel performs the introductions. “May I present Lieutenant Kima Venn.” The woman gives a crisp salute and invites them aboard the ship, poetically called ‘Firefly.’
Kima Venn.
Soon they are blasting into orbit ready to jump to the ‘i’ of Anobis. Niall can’t help noticing that Venn is an outstanding pilot and that her ship is an ‘electronic warfare’ variant, bristling with sensors. They soon cross the great fold, and enter hyperspace. Rojic is scornful of the ship. “She might be shiny and new, but slow as a Sarlacc’s dinner.” Tempted as he might be, he resists the temptation to tinker. Instead, he works on Joe-9T and gurgles to himself as he undoes some of the modifications and interlocks that the Republic has placed within the droid. D’Estrella paces around, there being little to do. The others have filled him in on their adventures after they left Tenacity, and have caught up with Mama on their adventures and hers. They rest a little, and manage to dissuade Jimmi from playing the harp. Nearly thirteen hours later, Venn announces that they have reached the battle site and are beginning to scan the debris field.
Republic ship 'Firefly.'
A couple of hours later, all they have detected are bits of twisted metal of every conceivable size. “There’s nothing here but wreckage!” Karnov says, looking despondent.
Venn is not discouraged. She implements a second search pattern, and re-scans the debris. Weaving among the remains, she starts to think that Storm Cutter has been destroyed. She is about to report this to Mama and the others, but something in the force warns Niall of the possible consequences. He sits in a corner and stretches out with his feelings….. A few moments later he thinks he can sense a rare element, an Adigen crystal. He knows that this once constituted part of his lightsabre construction project. He makes smooth gestures with his arm, which Venn converts into directions. Within a few minutes, they are in a standoff position over the hull of Storm Cutter!
“Someone should go over.”
“If Hen3ry shut everything down, the atmo will slowly freeze. She was never well-insulated, so it’ll probably be frozen solid. Even with a partial thermal-touch, the temperature will fall rapidly.”
“Poor Hen3ry….Frozen in space.”
Niall reminds them of something. “-And in perfect hibernation! Astro-droids are used in Jedi star fighters all the time, -and with nothing but the ships shields between them and space, they stand up alright.”
Our heroes don space suits. Rojic looks especially comical in one designed for Toydarians.
“It looks like a jiffy bag and a stapler might be more appropriate!” Mama jokes, her mood palpably better since sighting the ship.
“At least I don’t have to take out most of the padding.” Rojic snipes back at her. The humour is well received for a change.
Still verbally jousting over the intercom, they lead the others over to the remains of Storm Cutter. “-And no acidic gel!” Mama reminds Rojic. “No need!” Rojic calls back, and floats over to the hull. He ducks underneath, and moments later, Karnov and Niall are hand cranking the cargo ramp down enough for them all to slip inside. A few dozen chunks of frozen atmosphere drift out into space. The sofa remains frozen in place, -stiff as a board!
Using flashlights, Mama and Rojic enter the engine bay. Mama almost wells up as she sees Hen3ry powered down but still at his post. She nudges Rojic, who almost spins back out of the door! The others unplug Hen3ry, and in a curious 3D-ballet, spin him around and out. It’s only a short journey back to the Firespray. After that, Rojic and Mama start to tackle the ships engines. Cold-starting them is going to be a challenge. The others look at the cargo hold, sorting their loot into salvageable and non-salvageable. The speeders seem to have suffered the most damage, and are practically useless. They strip useful parts, and toss the rest. Rojic drifts by. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Go ahead; we could do with some colour around here.”
“Besides, it’ll look comical inside your spacesuit. How poetic, drowning in your own vomit!”
Rojic goes to stick his tongue out, but can’t risk the consequences.
Mama leaves Rojic to the difficult task of re-starting the drive systems from cold. She rescues the cleaning droid, 'Henry,' and the other astromech, 'Blinkie.' The others are securing a hull plate, which can patch a hole in the underside of Storm Cutter. When they are ready, Rojic ventures out again, and the others watch as he welds the plate over the gash. –He even remembers Wento’s [ 66 ] laws of motion and is not crushed by a weightless half-ton sheet of plating. After a short rest, and a final push, he and Mama start the generator. The others seal the hold once more, and as the heaters kick in, it restores part of the atmosphere. The rest is topped-up from cylinders from aboard the Firespray. This leaves Jimmi alone with Venn, the beautiful young woman for almost eight hours. Nothing happens! Jimmi fails to make a pass, making it a first! Jimmi remembers the failure to make a move on Oona, but she only had head tails for Niall. Jimmi’s confidence has been shattered and for a while is left in quiet contemplation, while considering the pros and cons of becoming a monk or indeed a nun!
Late in they day, a little excitement comes their way in the shape of a drifting life-pod. They scan it for life-signs but get no readings. Jimmi looks into the force, wary of a trap. However, to their relief, it isn’t.
“Usually they head for the nearest planet. There must be a sensor aboard, that makes it home in on life signs.–Like light, heat, or movement.”
“Yes, there’s a locator unit on the side.”
Niall drifts over to the pod. In a swift movement he sweeps the unit from the pod with a lightsabre. “We don’t want it following us anywhere, or becoming the target of scavengers.”
“True. Though we could have used a spare pod on board Storm Cutter.”
“Not compatible. Besides, I thought that the ship had two pods already.”
“There’s one behind the pilot’s seat, but the other is just an airlock.
“With a pod behind it?”
“No, just a hull plate, and a piece of cardboard upon which is scrawled. ‘Escape pod!’”
“So all this time we’ve been plying the space lanes with one escape pod.”
“Er, yes.”
Niall thinks. “At least I expect the captain to go down with the ship.”
Mama drifts by. “You keep on thinking that while I blast off and speed to safety.”
“I hope you crash on Alderaan then.” Niall says, rather spitefully.
“Nothing wrong with Alderaan.”
“Okay. My mistake. Somewhere doomed to explode in a billion particles, shot from a super-space station with a mega planet-busting gun then.”
“You’re making it up! That’s the stuff of science fiction!”
Niall coughs and looks around. “You’re the one living on a space-ship, Mama.” He says, settling the argument, and clinching the crucial final point!
After another rest, our heroes are set to venture across to Storm Cutter once again. This time, a reading shows a breathable atmosphere inside. They also transfer a thawed-out Hen3ry to assist with the computer diagnostics. Things are going well, albeit slowly. Niall and Karnov are in their spacesuits, when they hear an alarm being relayed from the Firespray. The two of them cycle the airlock, and emerge outside. Attracted to the life-signs and Republic identifier, two buzz droids have powered up and attached themselves onto the rescue ship. The buzz droids have started to bore into the superstructure, setting off the pressure drop alarm. Jimmi joins Karnov and Niall, and they open fire with their blasters. The range is too great however, so they use their manoeuvering thrusters to approach. As the range closes, their aim improves. Niall manages to catch one of the droids and blasts it to pieces. The other is drilling into the gun mount, and is more elusive. They fire again, but miss again. As they close in on the pesky droid, a shot from the Firespray is seen, and the other droid disappears into a cloud of glittering debris. The colonel nods to them as they circle the ship, looking for any more of the tenacious droids. There are no more however. Venn plugs the leaks, and the others keep watch. A gun mount and a shield generator need repair, but the hull retains its integrity. Leaving repairs to the ‘morning,’ the crews stand watches and rest for the night. On Jimmi and the colonel’s turn, a proximity alarm goes off. “That’s the proximity alarm.”
“Are you sure.”
“Well it’s beeping in time to the proximity indicator.”
“Maybe they’re doing a duet.”
Rojic awakens, fresh with a jibe. “Which is one more than Jimmi’s harp. That’ll be playing solo for all eternity!”
The alarm signals the approach of another life pod. They suit up to investigate. This time it contains two people. They are injured and barely alive. Carefully, Jimmi Karnov and Niall direct Venn to come alongside and latch on. They cycle the airlock and unscrew the pod. The two Tenacity crewmembers are taken to the hold of the Firespray, which is serving as an infirmary. As soon as the crew are comfortable, Jimmi calls upon the force and lays on hands, stabilising their conditions.
A short while later, a ship approaches. Slipping on silent running through the debris field, it is almost upon Firefly and Storm Cutter before being spotted. D’Estrella curses. “Karking Corpse pickers!” Unfortunately there is nothing legal he can do to interrupt them. As they approach, they activate their weapons. Karnov and Venn try to hail them and warn them off the salvage operations, but the approaching YT-1300 obviously has hostile intent. Rojic and Mama have thrusters working aboard Storm Cutter, but it is in a rather vulnerable state. A few well-placed blaster shots could undo all their good work. Rojic reads the hostile intentions of the freighter, and scrambles down to the missile tubes. Mama re-routes power to the firing console, and waits for Rojic’s signal. They arm a missile, but will have to fire it without guidance. “We’re only going to get one shot at this!” Mama warns. Rojic primes the missile, and is poised ready with a hastily jury-rigged release. The freighter is turning its attention to Firefly, which is now coming about under Venn’s expert control. There are tense moments as the three ships converge. Niall tells Karnov to hail them.
“This is Padawan Karnov. We are engaged in legal salvage operations.”
There is no reply from the other vessel. Their guns remain charged.
Karnov changes tack. “This is Republic vessel Firefly, please come about, and let us check your credentials.” A second later, and despite Venn’s lazy jinking, a volley of shots finds a weak spot in their shields! The battle is on! Niall leaps to a gun turret, and fires a shot. The enemy vessel starts leaking plasma from a destroyed conduit, leaving glowing vapour trails in the inky blackness. Venn guns the Firespray, lists lazily left and tries to cut off their escape.
Shots streak back, and the Firespray groans with the impact. Venn is in full battle mode, and pulls a steep bank to enable Niall to open fire again. He waits for his moment and then finds a patch of soft underbelly. A palpable hit returns the favour. The readouts show that the pirate vessel has also been damaged through a weak spot in the shields! The enemy know then they are evenly matched, and with a tight swoop around a floating piece of debris endeavour to run for it. Venn is anticipating this and is only seconds behind. More shots bridge the gap, but none make telling hits. As the pirates emerge from behind a large chunk of the Tenacity’s hull, they are right in Mama’s sights. She signals to Rojic and the missile fires….. It travels at high speed about eighteen inches down the smooth launch tube before getting wedged on a chunk of still-frozen atmosphere! If the enemy could be damaged by Todarian swearwords, they’d be destroyed by now! Meanwhile, Venn is in hot pursuit, but despite making gains on the enemy, it dodges and weaves to present a low profile. Niall shoots a few more times, but the enemy returns fire, keeping the Firefly at bay. As soon as they clear the debris field, the pirates pull up sharply, engage the hyperdrives and zoom away. The colonel thumps the control panel in frustration while Kima mutters some words that her mother almost certainly never taught her. “I love it when a posh bird talks dirty.” Niall mutters to himself.
Back on Storm Cutter, Rojic is struggling with the missile in the tube. It is armed and ready to detonate! This could end their careers real quick. There are a few tense minutes while he lies in the missile tube, and carefully disassembles its power-plant. Mama crouches by, relaying information from a technical manual. In the end, it comes down to a hefty blow from a hydrospanner to release the last sensor relay. They close their eyes and there is a very loud bang.
Mama: "Is that the end of me?"
A second or two later, Rojic has disarmed the missile. He and Mama stare at one another, too tense even to laugh.
“That’s enough excitement for a lifetime!”
“You did good, Rojic.”
“Well I’m off to tackle something less dangerous!”
Mama leads him to the galley. They open the fridge, with the intention to repair the fridge light.
Venn brings the Firespray about. Niall and Karnov log the final trajectory of the pirate vessel for later investigation. Back on Storm Cutter, Rojic and Mama are faced with another couple of grave disasters. Firstly, the fridge is a solid block of ice! A whole chunk that fits the space completely. Bits of left-over food are seen inside, all at random orientations.
“If only I had a gin and tonic to fit that cube into!” They set the fridge to maximum defrost, and put Rojic’s hairdryer to better use. An hour later, they can identify some things.
Rojic is in a sombre mood. A little chipping with the hydrospanner later, and he has extracted the fridge light. He holds it up. “It’s busted. I’m afraid that its fire has gone out of the universe.”
“The light that shines twice as bright shines half as long, Rojic.” Mama is close to tears. For once in his life, Rojic hasn’t the heart to joke about it.
“It saw good service.” He says, knowing that this short eulogy won’t even scratch the surface of the emotions they’re both feeling.
“One of the original parts it think.” They share a moment. Mama takes the light and cradles it gently like a child, before crossing the floor and dropping it with a clang into the bin!
Karnov has been using her lightsabre to cut another few panels of hull to patch Storm Cutter. Practising making ‘Wesk’ ‘Osk and ‘Xesh’ shapes in pieces of metal is good zero-G training. The others ferry them to the ship to be welded into place.
Finally, Rojic has the hyper-drive up and running. “Now we’re in business!” He chirps, happy for once. Mama is really pleased too.
“Oh Rojic....?” She says in a sultry voice.
“Yes?”
“My hands are dirty….”
Rojic blinks. He shakes his head, not sure that he’s heard right. He turns slowly to see Mama standing in the doorway. Steeling himself for her next move, he flutters nervously.
“So pass me that towel will you?” She says sweetly.
Rojic is so relived; he eagerly does Mama’s bidding!
The others have finished clearing the hold. Apart from a small crate of spares, the rest is scrap. This includes all the congealed Bacta that they never even got to use! They sweep everything into the airlock and blast it into space. Karnov has a few reservations. “We’re polluting space. I think that Jedi are supposed to be opposed to that.”
“The best thing about a big galaxy,” Jimmi says, “It that if you mess up one part, there’s plenty of other places you can go to get away from it all.”
Niall isn’t so sure. “Maybe, but it’ll fill up with garbage eventually.”
“Then we just find another galaxy and go and live there.”
“Okay!”
“There, that’s the last load jettisoned.” Rojic says. “-And good riddance! –Blasted into space where I’ll never see it again! -That thing’s been around my neck like a millstone ever since I clapped eyes on it.”
“I thought that you loved that old speeder.”
“I wasn’t talking about the speeder, -I was referring to Jimmi’s harp!”
The others are laughing, as they cross to Firefly. A moment later, Karnov gasps.
The ship jerks to one side. Everyone holds on. There is a scraping on the shields, which lose two-thirds of their power, making the lights flicker alarmingly.
“That’s no blaster bolt, something hit us!”
Out of a view screen, a massive greeble floats by.
“That’s one to Lieutenant Venn. That thing would’ve smashed us to pieces!”
“It very nearly did!” Rojic says, pointing to a sizable crease in the ceiling of the mess area.
Jimmi is wondering. “A greeble is a small piece of ship, so it can’t actually be classed as large.”
“Capital ships, capital-sized greebles.” Venn points out, as she descends from the bridge.
“Oh yeah, I suppose so!”
“Who’s flying this ship?” Niall wants to know.
“On auto. -With sensors set to double max!”
A short while later, Karnov stops again.
“What is it? You smell something?”
“A disturbance in the force.”
The others look around. Karnov takes little time in narrowing her search. “Three life-forms, in a pod, on slow approach!”
They go into the pod rescue routine again, now quite well drilled. They manage to rescue another three people. Another three from the Republic navy. A Sullustan, a Duros and a human – All crammed into a two-man pod. The crew tend to their needs and take them to the temporary infirmary. The sensor goes off again, and this time they avoid the greeble- in fact they manage to identify it and use the tractor-beam to arrest its trajectory. They haul aboard a useful piece of salvage- a hyper-drive modulator!
Another day of repairs sees Storm Cutter resembling something of her old self.
Mama’s mood has calmed down somewhat and she and Rojic are enjoying a rare few hours of peace and joviality. The others work hard on scouring the debris field for life pods, and manage to locate another eleven survivors. They transfer some of them to Storm Cutter, before departing back to Coruscant.
“I suppose we’d better start planning for our big game hunt.”
“Does this mean we have to buy another expensive tent, only to use it once?”
“Something like that.”
Karnov turns to Jimmi. “Remind me again what the Nexu planet is like…..Though I’m already guessing dry and dusty.”
“Actually, it’s cool and mostly arboreal.”
“That arboreal might turn out to be our memorial!”
NEXT THRILLING EPISODE: An old enemy comes to tea....Grrrr!
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Footnotes:
+++++ ENACT FOOTNOTE SIXTY-SIX! +++++
[ 66 ] Wento's Laws:
1) Every body continues in its state of rest or of uniform speed in a straight line unless it gets promoted and the uniform is in the wash.
Promotions to colonel are permitted, even after losing one’s ship in a massive fireball, thus necessitating the washing of the uniform.
2) The acceleration of an object is directly proportional to the net force acting on it, unless the net has a hole in it.
3) Whenever one object exerts a force on a second object, the second exerts an equal and opposite force on the first, unless, like Han Solo, you shoot first!