Session 2. (21/12/07)

Starring:

Jim Loder as Miyoshi
Denzil Brown as Mineo
David Holden as Kachamaru
Paul Burton cameo as Haku.
LYF™ as the Narrator.^[1]

And special guest star:

Dave Weaver as Kokuma.

Guest Director: Anthony Hummerston

Previously on "The Wood"...

We see a quick montage of victory at the battle of Hakadate. The signing of the peace agreement. The breaking of the peace as the Kakizaki clan, now re-formed as the Matsumae disregard the treaty and quietly resume raids against Ainu villages.

We see our heroes at their domestic chores, their marriages, and the births of several children nine months after the ‘chores’ are done. We see typical scenes of village life: The annual bear capture and release; dancing around the village maypole, and a one-man theatre production^[2]. Then we see the annual ritual retreat of Haku into a draughty cave, and the annual ransacking of Haku’s laundry, hoisted on flagpoles through the winter in his absence.

Haku’s laundry.

There is also knocking frozen monkeys off sticks, the dangerous sport of squirrel baiting, naming the village idiot, and throwing rotten fish heads at transgressors in the stocks.

But the laughter and merriment turns to sullen depression as the winter snows threaten to engulf the village, and the food stocks start to run low.

Mineo's voice can be heard... "We may have to eat the horses."

Miyoshi in an authoritative tone. "Nobody eats my steed! Mineo: Give me your horse!"

"Too late! -Unless you've got a slice of bread to mop up the last bit of Dobbin gravy."

Voice over...

"It is week thirty three in the year of the Serpent. The year has been hard, and the winter harsh. As an annual ritual, the village elders, the shaman and unmarried young men have gone into the wood to commune with nature, forage for food, and capture their annual bear. They are due to be gone a few days, a week at most."

Ainu chant: "We're going on a bear hunt,
We're going to catch a big one,
We're not scared!"

The village is quiet. Our heroes are tending their domestic duties^[3], as well as working and training. By now they are regarded as senior members of the village, and are well respected.

Over the last few months, some of the young men have developed an interest in Wajin traditions, and have started rudimentary training. One of these is a son of the village chief. His Ainu name is very difficult for the Nipponese language to pronounce, even as our heroes become more fluent in the Ainu tongue.

As a result, they have nicknamed him 'Kokuma' or 'great bear'^[4]. Kokuma already towers over all of his peers, and his Wajin friends. He already sports a good growth of beard, and his great strength has made him legendary in these parts.

Kokuma's duties have been split between helping his father, and pumping the bellows of the little forge in Kachamaru's workshop. However, whenever there is heavy work to be done, he is always first to be asked. His renowned for his hunting skills already, having been blooded by his first squirrel at age ten.

He has fashioned a small tree to be his favoured weapon. To the other villagers it is simply a very large club, but to the Wajin, it ranks among the largest of tetsubo^[5].

One cold afternoon, the villagers are at their work, when the fishing boats arrive back at the shore. While the men-folk are away, their sons have taken over fishing duties. One of the young men leaps from the lead boat, and runs into the centre of the village. There, he drops his shoulders, and starts to wail.

"Oh Kami of the sea, why have you forsaken us? Are we to starve before the sun comes again in the spring? What good are our frozen bones to you? Feed us!"

Many villagers come running at the sounds of his curses, and huddle around him. He is a young man of about fifteen, and he sinks into the snow and sobs. Finally they get him to stop long enough to explain.

"We have been fishing for a whole day, and caught nothing! I am a good fisherman, like my father before me. But even though I try my hardest, the gods see fit to taunt my empty belly!"

Some of our heroes go down to the boats. The other young men are hauling them up the beach away from the tide. They look inside.

The boat is empty. The lobster pots are empty. The nets and the lines are empty. The other two boats are the same. Even during the winter, fish are plentiful enough to feed the village on subsistence rations. This turn of events will surely test the resolve of even the hardiest Ainu.

On further investigation, it can be seen that many of the nets have been damaged. The fishermen say that they have been torn into shreds by something in the water. Some of the lobster pots have been either smashed or bitten by some marine creature. Some of the other fishermen tell our heroes that this has been happening all the more in recent days. Their catch has dwindled to almost nothing, and today was the final straw.

Our heroes and Kokuma gather around in a huddle.

Miyoshi voices his concern. "If this ocean is supposed to be teeming with fish, where are they all?"

"What are you implying, Miyoshi?"

"No implication intended."

Yes there is! You're saying there's some huge damn fish out there, aren't you?  Some kind of gigantic, weird, pre-historic leviathan who has porked its entire way through the ocean."

They all look despondent. The villagers go quiet.

Kokuma breaks the silence.

"We're gonna need a bigger boat!"

Then they feel a tremor in the ground. It lasts for several minutes. Rocks and snow start to slip from the hills toward the village. In moments, a hut is buried under the snow and several others are threatened. Another avalanche launches several rocks into the sea, from the low cliffs.

Miyoshi says wisely. "Earthquake. -Made by the sudden shifting of the earth's tectonic plates."

The others are baffled. "Can you get a monster fish on tectonic plate?"

"Only when the boat comes in!"

 The fishermen hastily drag their boats further up the shore. Other villagers are running to the hut that is engulfed. After several minutes Kokuma's strength has dug a passage to the door, and dragged a bewildered woman and young child free.

It is time for a council of war. As the light has all but faded from the sky, they decide to dig into their meagre supplies of food, and try fishing again in the morning. Our heroes will accompany the fishermen, and they invite Kokuma along too.

 "We need some muscle to hold a harpoon."

"You're not letting him have an even bigger weapon are you?"

"Nah! was hoping to use him as bait!"

"In the meantime, what are we gonna eat?"

Mineo is in a joking mood. "Just like any other emergency: Women and children first!"

Kokuma gives them a hard stare. For a moment he looks as though he might pick up the Wajin and throw them all into the ocean. However there are more pressing concerns.

"How about the woman and child we pulled from the snow-damaged hut?"

Mineo offers his hut. "They can rest with my family."

Miyoshi pulls rank. "She can sleep with my wife...."

The others all suppress giggles.

"And I'll sleep with Mineo's."

The banter over, they move the grateful woman into Mineo's hut. It's a tight squeeze, what with all the children getting under their feet. Fortunately there are a few food morsels to share.

"Here you go, young 'un. A nice bowl of gruel."

"Gruel?"

"Sorry, mistranslation. Gravel!"

"Anything to drink?"

"A nice cup of sleet."

Sometime later, a hunting party returns from the wood. They come home with meagre supplies. A wild pig and a couple of live squirrels. They also report that they spied some large humanoids walking in the wood. The humanoids were carrying some heavy objects, but the scouts could not get close enough to make out what they were. A wizened old lady of about thirty years of age tells them that it might be the evil spirits of the wood, bringing death and destruction to the village. That's all they need to hear, so she is silenced with a cup of warm snow, and the most aggressive squirrel to skin for her supper.

They debate weather to follow the humanoids in the wood, or tackle the lack of fish. They decide that neither of these can be done in the dark, and retire for the night.

At daybreak, the snow is piled high. They clear the street, and assemble at the fishing boats. Having got ready, they push the boats into the icy ocean, and set off for the fishing grounds.

The fishermen explain that they use landmarks from the village and mount Yokotsu to navigate to the best place. When they can no longer see Haku's underwear flapping in the breeze, but can see the cave where he goes for the winter, it's time to cast their nets.

They cast the nets, and then row slowly to another point. There they drop a boy into the ocean. The boy is none too pleased at being both net marker and fish bait, so they replace him with a buoy.

After some time, a few fish are caught in the net. The fishermen's spirits rise a little. Then they can see a fin cutting the water. It is approaching fast, and by the size of the fin, a large creature is bearing direct.

Our heroes get ready. The fin approaches. When it gets really close, a huge serpentine head emerges from the water, and shows row upon row of long sharp teeth! A sea-serpent! The fight is on!

The serpent attacks first. It scores a glancing blow along the side of the boat. The crew all hang on for dear life. Our heroes are used to battle, and keeping their feet. They manage to stay upright. They turn to Miyoshi for guidance, hoping his battle strategy will suggest something decisive.

"How do we fight this thing Miyoshi?"

Splash!

"Miyoshi?"

Their illustrious leader has fallen in the water!

"Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?"

There is nothing they can do to help him. Several of the sailors are casting lines out, and hoping he's been caught in the net. The others all take swipes at the serpent as its torpedo-shaped body glides past.

Kachamaru and Mineo manage to get good strikes with their swords. Kokuma manages a minor hit. The sea-serpent is unfazed, and turns around for another pass.

Some of the sailors consider climbing into their lobster pots. Others are trying to bring the boat about.

As they do so, the serpent comes in for another attack run. A great plume of spray comes off its dorsal fin, its teeth glitter in the pale winter sun. It's jaws open and for a moment it looks as though it might just swallow the boat whole! It aims straight at the bow of the boat. The fishermen steer hard to starboard, just as the monster strikes.

There is a horrifying splintering sound as the monster's jaws close around the timbers of the boat. The whole boat shudders. The monster bites off a huge chunk of planking, just above the waterline. Myoshi, who has scrambled aboard, moves his arm just in time to avoid it being severed at the elbow.

He swings with his sword, and cuts at the monster's flesh. The others all get hits, Kachamaru with a good slice to the monster's side.

"Good hit. Top of the chop!"

"I was aiming for its head!"

The serpent has been somewhat stunned at its headlong charge into the boat; it struggles to swim free, giving our heroes a good opportunity for additional hits. Miyoshi obliges, and Kachamaru is close behind with a flesh wound. Kokuma misses.

Myoshi misses his next shot, Kachamaru hits again, Kokuma is swinging his tetsubo with vigour, and hits. Mineo manages to miss his footing slightly, and misses.

The serpent has regained some of its wits, it lashes out. Kokuma is bitten. The wound is deep, and in the fleshy part of his side. This only serves to make him even fiercer than before. He lifts up the tetsubo for another hit.

The serpent starts to turn its head to make morsels of Miyoshi and Kachamaru. As it does, they hit it for more damage. Blood in the water is attracting sharks and predatory fish. With a roar the creature turns once again to Kokuma. Kokuma is more then ready. With all his might, he brings his tetsubo down on the creature's head. There is an appalling wet crunching sound, and the creature's skull is crushed under the blow, killing it instantly.

The fishermen give a ragged cheer, and then spring into action, gathering the remains of the nets around the carcass of the sea serpent, and fending off the sharks. Realising that there is a village to feed, they set off with all speed for home. To secure the nets, they tie off ropes to the mast.

"That ain't the mast- That's my ankle!"

"Why is Myoshi taking another swim?"

"Remind me again, which bit is the mast?"

"That long pole pointing to the bottom of the ocean."

"Are you sure we're sailing this thing the right way up?"

They make steady progress to shore. As they are hugging the coast near the village, the wind picks up. They struggle on manfully, towing the dead sea-serpent behind them. Suddenly there is a whistling in the air, and several dozen large boulders are falling into the sea all around them. The fishermen try to steer clear of the bombardment, but Mineo is hit. Miyoshi struggles to pitch one of the smaller rocks over the side of the boat, while Kokuma lifts a huge boulder as if it was a mere pebble and flings it into the sea.^[6]

More rocks rain down. In the bombardment, Kachamaru fires an arrow into the wood above the cliffs. The attack slows then stops, but not before Mineo sustains a nasty bruise to the upper arm, and one of the fishermen is hit.

They row out of range, and soon are nearing the village. The villagers welcome them as heroes for catching the big sea serpent. There's food here for some time to come!

One of the villagers asks what exactly they can do with the sea serpent, -besides steaks.

"How about serpent porridge?"

Kokuma suggests "We could always smoke it."

"What a seventy-foot sea serpent. That'd take one hell of a Rizla!"

Kachamaru tends to the injured fisherman, and Kokuma.

He uses 'stage blood' magic to heal their wounds, and convince them that it's all show.

Kokuma is struggling with the concept.

"Stage blood." Kachamaru prompts.

"Eh?"

"Fake blood. Pig's blood. Er....claret, sauce....Ketchup!"

Kokuma starts to comprehend. "Ketchup!"

"Yep ketchup, it isn't blood, only ketchup!"

"Oh I get it...Feel the power of the sauce!"

Having bested the sea serpent yesterday, the new day dawns and our heroes are up early to investigate the humanoids in the wood. Overnight, villagers have stripped the serpent's carcass, and erected the bones on poles to serve as a trophy.

Nothing like the smell of dead fish to wake up to in the morning.

 Out heroes get ready, and tool up for a days scouting in the wood. Kokuma has all his best tracking skills and equipment, and is going to show these Wajin just what an expert woodsman he really is. As he waits for the others, a fisherman presents him with a carved serpent's tooth, to commemorate his kill.

Kokuma carving.

In the wood, they search for a while, and soon come across large tracks. They have been partially covered by a subsequent fall of snow, but Kokuma is hot on the trail. He starts off like a bloodhound. But after only a few dozen yards, loses the trail under a bush. Kachamaru, who has the best eyes today, spots the tracks on the other side. The party set off at a brisk pace.

The tracks are joined by wolf prints. There are possibly six or eight humanoids, with about the same number of wolves. Kokuma is confident that the tracks will lead the party straight to the place. However, he runs out of trail on a smooth rocky patch, where the snow has blown clear. Up ahead they can just make out semi-circular cairns of stone. By using his innate senses, Kokuma knows that they are near the cliffs where they were pelted with rocks in the boat yesterday. He tells the others.

"We're nearing the cliffs. You must watch your footing. Go only where I go. Step where I step."

"Why is that then?"

"Because if you step here......" Kokuma suddenly disappears from view.

"Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! "

<Deep breath>

"Aaaaaaaaaaahhhh!"

When the yelling stops, the others look cautiously over the ledge, thinking they'll see Kokuma splattered at the bottom of the cliff. However, their elation turns to dismay, when they see that he's just tripped over a pile of stones.

They pick him up, disappointed that he hadn't fallen off the cliff. Kachamaru decides to take point, and creeps forward toward another cairn. "It's a kind of snow fort!" He hisses to the others.

"Snow fork?"

"Fort!"

"Thought it was a snow fork?"

He leaves it to the others to work it out, and creeps forward.

As he climbs the stones, he can see several sleeping forms. They are humanoid, about ten feet tall, and are various garish colours, ranging form fiery red to purple. They have at least two eyes, and some have as many as five.

There are also a number of wolves dozing in a heap.

One of the sleeping forms opens an eye or three....

Kachamaru immediately tries to sing the monster back to sleep. Seeing that this ruse will not work on the giant –his singing is pretty appalling- He casts 'scenery.' A magical illusion of a snowy tree appears, and an imaginary dollop of snow drops off a branch, drowning out the singing.

The others have heard the horrible noise, That's fightin' singing!

They press forward, and are confronted by one of the giant humanoids. A quick consultation of the classics shows that this is an Oni!

Oh no, it's only an Oni!

Oni are large humanoids, who can live anywhere, preying on people and livestock, and generally misbehaving. They are a giant form of bakemono, and have a nasty temper, and even nastier weapons.

Oni with club.

Two wolves scamper to attack, another pauses to relive itself on Kachamaru.

One wolf pounces on Miyoshi, and sinks its teeth into his leg. Another attacks Kokuma, but misses. Miyoshi hits his wolf, which snarls at him. Kokuma manages to club his wolf. The wolves attack again, and the Oni are rousing themselves. It all looks a bit nasty for our heroes, eight wolves and as many Oni rushing in to attack. Kachamaru puts on a scary face, and several of the Oni pause and start to back away from such a hideous grin. Then the spell goes off, and they start to run away.

Miyoshi manages to cut deep into his wolf, almost severing it in two. The wolf is horribly injured. Kokuma manages to swing his tetsubo with all his might, and splatters his wolf all over the cairn of stones. Things are looking up for our heroes. Wolf blood starts to freeze on the rocks beneath their feet.

Blooded wolf. Someone's going to get a nice fur coat out of this.

Miyoshi leads a counter attack, but is hit by a critical blow to the head. He sees stars, misses his footing on the bloody and slippery rock, and crashes to the ground. Mineo runs up to protect him, and swings his sword menacingly at the Oni. As he does so, the cold and the blood are his undoing and the sword slips from his grip in front of him.

Mineo uses fast draw for his second sword, and manages to finish off another wolf.

The Oni are laughing at these petty humans, the wolves are slavering at the thought of human flesh for their supper. Will our heroes survive...? Find out next instalment!

[1] Little Yellow Fella™

[2] The 'Much-Reduced-Kabuki-Theatre-Company.'

[3] Making babies.

[4] Or 'Bluto' behind his back, and at least a dozen paces out of reach.

[5] Also known as a 'Kanabo'

[6] Actually if one watches closely, for a split-second the rock can be seen floating on the water, as if made of polystyrene. –It is then dragged out of shot by a stage-hand.

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