Session 4. (4/1/08)

Guest Director: Anthony Hummerston

Our heroes are baffled by the talking rock. They decide to look over it in detail. They conclude that there is no magical effect or some talented ventriloquism going on.

To further investigate, they decide to try to move the rock. It is probably equals ten to fifteen koku of rice in weight. –That's heavy!

The Talking Rock.

After a spell of pushing and pulling, sometimes against one another, they take a breather. They remove some of the larger stones wedged underneath, and try again. Finally, with the aid of a large branch, they manage to get a lever under the rock.

Still they cannot shift it. Only when Kokuma strips down to his leather thong do they team together enough to move the rock, if only to prevent Kokuma spending the rest of the day in just his underwear. He seems unfazed by the fact that is snowing, and several degrees below.

"Several degrees below mine, I can tell you!"

The others make disparaging comments about his choice of underwear.

"But them soft leather thongs feel kind of nice. There's a whole air flow."

The others spring to action, and within a minute, the rock has budged a few feet.

They take a breather. There is nothing beneath the rock where any man or monster or evil ventriloquist can hide. As they take their rest, Sisyphus is seen trudging down the hillside.

"Thanks for moving the rock guys, I'm taking the day off...check on the wife...Say...Nice thong!"

"Okay. Wait until he gets to the bottom, and then roll the rock onto him!"

They try talking to the rock. Finally, they get a response. The rock wants to know whether the village has been destroyed. When they tell it that it hasn't, the rock urges them to redouble their efforts. The voice is thin and ghostly, definitely female, and of some status. They are rather surprised that it's speaking Nipponese, though in a fairly local accent.

Kokuma tells the rock that the village is not for destroying. The rock informs him that it doesn't speak to subhuman vermin like him.

Kokuma is offended, and rightly so. However, he cannot remonstrate with the rock as it has ceased speaking to him. The others try, but are also branded as 'rebel scum.'

"I think this rock has 'issues.'"

"Maybe it had a bad upbringing."

"Yeah, I blame its parents. -Stone's law, and all that."

"Stone's law?"

"Seventy to eighty percent of children always fail."

Kokuma is still furious at the rock. "You have insulted me, my friends, and my village.^[1]"

The others are taken aback at Kokuma's temper.

They are even more shocked when he says...

"Anyway, I think it's all a filthy Nipponese trick."

The others are quick to respond. "Standing right here!"

Kokuma backs down. It's clear that there is something else going on. Mineo suggests that maybe it's an evil spirit, or a ghost of some kind.

"Some corrupt  Kami, creating cruel karma?"

"That easy for you to say!"

"Maybe it needs calming down. Perhaps an anger management class?"

"At the school of rock?"

"Maybe we could hold a party for it. Some kind of 'rock' festival!"

It is getting dark. They decide to hunt around for shelter. They find a small cave, and start to prepare for a night outdoors. Miyoshi returns to the rock, and starts reciting poetry at it.

The poetry is bad. Really bad.

Kokuma suggests that Miyoshi try some Nipponese poetry. Miyoshi agrees. -This time it's even worse!

The others consider removing their ears with a tetsubo to drown out the noise. However, the rock does not respond. Miyoshi finally gives up. By this time the others have prepared a bed for him. As he comes into the cave, they hand him several knucklebone dice.

"What are these for, and where's my bed?"

"Roll the dice!"

He rolls, and looks at the result.

"That's how far your bed is: In ri!"^[2]

Miyoshi realises that this is a jibe at his poetry recital. He decides to goad them over their teasing. "You know, sometimes I can quote poems in my sleep!"

Kokuma tries to warn him "You know, sometimes I play with my tetsubo in my sleep!"

The others all fall about laughing. Kokuma scratches his head, not realising how his comment has been translated.

Mineo has prepared Miyoshi's bed. It's hardly the four-poster, but more like four cobbles.

They set watches. During the night, several Oni are seen. They climb up the hillside to the talking rock, and report. The rock gives them more encouragement, and they depart. Kachamaru listens in. He can also see torchlight in the distance through some trees. He decides to take Miyoshi to investigate. He casts 'stage lantern' in order to provide a little light. Half-an-hour later, they can make out a village in the foothills, just over a ri away.

When they return, Mineo is waiting for them. He lets them settle down into their beds before remonstrating with them for getting snowy footprints on his nice clean cave floor.

In the morning, they decide to investigate the village further.

Kachamaru decides to disguise himself as one of the locals. This is a fine plan. Using the spell 'mask of deception,' he gets all fired up about impersonating someone, and going around the village in disguise. However, there is a flaw in this plan. The effect only lasts for four minutes!

He has to modify his plan somewhat. As they watch the village, several woodsmen come out and start cutting wood. Others are furriers and trappers and they start checking their snares and looking for game. Kachamaru spies one old woodcutter, coming out of his hut, and decides to impersonate him. As the woodcutter pauses to sharpen his axe, Kachamaru sneaks up to his house.

Woodcutter's house.

Kachamaru casts the spell, and strides into the house. He is disappointed that the woodcutter's daughter is not at home –not that she'd sleep with her own father anyway!

Instead the woodcutter's wife is there doing chores. –Washing all the checkered shirts. Kachamaru tells her some lame excuse for being home so early.

"I've come back darling. Forgotten my...er...my...axe sharpening thingy!"

"Do you mean whetstone?"

"Yes that's it!"

"Okay."

Kachamaru is counting the seconds until the spell fades, and the woodcutter comes back to find him in the hut with his wife.

"Oh, by the way darling...There's a spirit in a stone...? In the wood...?"

"Uh huh?"

"And it's talking. And it might have something to do with...with that woman who died?"

"Died?"

"Was killed?"

"Killed?"

"Was left in the forest to die?"

"You're talking complete rubbish. Now take your whetstone, and get back to work."

"Yes dear, going now!"

Kachamaru steps down form the hut. As he leaves the village, the spell fades, and he starts to make his way back to the others. As he does so, a grinding wheel hits him in the small of the back.

Oh, the daily grind!

Kachamaru takes his non-information back to the others. They decide that subterfuge is not their strong suit, and instead they decide to consult the head of the village.

To this end, they clean themselves up as best they can, scraping the mud off their boots, and washing and shaving in order to look respectable and less like hairy Ainu. Hoping that they can use their apparent status as wandering ronin, they enter the village, and swagger their way toward the most important looking house. Kokuma is left behind. It's more than his life is worth to return home all shaved and clean.

Outside the house are two rather bored looking guards. The guards are respectful enough, but suspicious. They summon the housekeeper, who is weaselly looking man, slightly stooped, with a bad attitude. However, he knows better than to insult ronin, but is nonetheless offhand and dismissive.

They state their business. "We would like an audience with the headman."

"He's out of town on business."

"Is there anyone else we might speak to?"

"I suppose the lady of the house might see you."

"Now?"

"Come back in an hour."

Thus dismissed the three of then are at a loose end. They decide that to impress the lady of the house, they might benefit form a proper bath and shave, and clean clothing. They find the only bathhouse in the village, and spend some time luxuriating in the tepid melt-water. After an hour they present themselves at the manor once more.

The weasally servant shows them in. They are shown to a room, and presently the lady of the house appears.

After brief introductions, they get down to business. The lady is offhand to start with, and her attitude is politely hostile.

They explain. "We have found an evil spirit possessing a rock, not far from the village. We are concerned for the safety of the villagers here."

"There has been no trouble here. It is probably a spirit of the wood, made by the despicable Ainu." She almost spits out the last word, as if it is rather distasteful.

Not overplaying their origins, they probe gently about the lady's opinion of the Ainu.

"Filthy animals! All things under heaven should hate Ainu."

Kachamaru is listening intently. The lady's voice is remarkably similar to that of the talking rock. However, he is having trouble communicating this to the others as the lady goes off on a vitriolic tirade against their adopted race.

"Many good men died at the siege of Hakadate. Only the swiftest revenge is good enough."^[3]

Kachamaru manages to whisper "She's the voice!"

To cover his stage whispering, the others ask where her husband is.

"At the academy. Training our young men and women in the ways of bushido. He will soon lead a party out into the woods to blood them with Ainu blood."

Our heroes have heard enough.

Back outside the village, even Kokuma is feeling the wrath of the lady's words. He spies some half-hearted village patrol, but leaves them be.

Back at the house, Mineo prompts the others. "We've done our duty. Might I suggest that we leave the lady in peace?" The others don't want to hear any more of her poisonous words, and bid the lady farewell.

"Well, she certainly has a downer for the Ainu."

"You noticed that too?"

 They make their way out of the village. There are a few longing glances at the relative affluence, the social hierarchy, and the comforts of the life that they have left behind. Knowing that they have a long journey back to short rations and the harshest of winters weighs heavily on their hearts.

But they know that to give themselves up will have them branded as traitors and cowards, and that they'll suffer an ignoble death at the hands of the Matsumae clan. They have wives and families to support. It's a hard choice but an understandable one.

To disguise their origins, they take the southern road, but as soon as they are out of sight cut back northeast across snowy fields to meet up with Kokuma.

After some discussion, they decide that the spirit in the rock is an evil spirit, and that once the Oni get a taste for violence, destruction, and human flesh, they will turn their attention to other villages in the area. To save themselves they must also save the wajin village. But a solution still eludes them.

They discuss breaking the rock. Several methods are suggested. Magic; ice; fire-and-water. None of them appeal to them. They also suspect that the spirit might be bound to the rock and that once the rock is destroyed, it might be free to wreak even more vengeance. Finally, they decide to enlist the help of the village again. This time, Moyoshi and Mineo will seek a priest, and ask for help in exorcising the spirit. They set off once more to find a temple or a shrine.

In the village there is no temple. There are wayside shrines, but no priests or holy men in attendance. The village is too small to support any monks or religious orders.

Mineo suggests "Maybe there's an old priest who oversees burials. Blesses children, and presides over weddings and such...?"

"Maybe. But hopefully not in that order."

"Not been married long, have you Miyoshi?"

They ask politely and are introduced to a girl, some years younger than them.

Accidentally patronising, Miyoshi asks "Little girl, would you show us to the old lady who tends the shrines."

The girl gets up, pulls on a shrine maiden's robe, and tells him that she is the priestess. Her reaction to Miyoshi is not good.

Miyoshi blunders into an apology, but only goes to further insult the girl.

"Sorry, I was expecting someone wiser." She gives him a hard stare. He corrects himself. "Older."

The stare becomes a frown.

 "Taller."

The frown turns to simmering anger.

"Maybe Mineo might like to add something..."

The girl turns to Mineo. Fortunately he remembers his manners, and offers a gift of peace. "How about some soothing herbs?"^[4]

Mollified at Mineo's soothing herbs, the girl calms down. When they explain to her their problem, she looks troubled. When they press cold hard cash into their hand, she agrees to help them. "I'll come at dawn tomorrow."

Back at the rock several Oni appear. Kachamaru casts 'scenery' to create an illusion that he and Kokuma can hide behind. The rock demands an update on assaulting the Ainu village. The Oni are asking about their promised reward.

When the Oni have gone, our heroes meet up. They spend another night in the cave. By now, Mineo has made it almost as comfortable as home. –Better in some respects because there aren't nearly as many screaming infants keeping them awake all night. Only Miyoshi reciting bad poetry in his sleep!

At first light they wait for the shrine maiden. Kachamaru casts 'scenery' again for Kokuma to hide behind. They don't want to scare the girl, or for her to report that they are friends of the Ainu.

The shrine maiden sets up her equipment. There are sticks of incense, strips of paper with prayers on them, bells and candles and a scroll. ^[5]

Miyoshi tries to remonstrate with the rock, but is outwitted by it. He decides to go on with the exorcism.

She teaches them a simple chant, and they start chanting. Unfortunately for Miyoshi his crib sheet for the chant is upside down, and he starts chanting the reverse of the spell: 'Summon Demon of the Apocalypse.'

Mineo steps to one side, and upends the scroll. Now Miyoshi is back on track.

The chanting goes something like this:

Mineo, chanting. "Om.Om.Om."

Miyoshi starts chanting.  "Woo.Woo.Woo"

Mineo realises what he's doing.  "Om.Om. Hey Miyoshi!"

"Woo.Woo. What? Ow!" <PAUSE> "Oh! Om. Om. Om...."

The shrine maiden summons forth the spirit of the rock. After a moment a ghostly apparition appears. It somewhat resembles the headman's wife.

Ghostly Figure.

It is not pleased to see them. They take this as a cue to start fighting it. Kachamaru and Mineo break off their chanting, and start hitting it with swords. The spirit is partly incorporeal, and although their weapons slice through ectoplasm, it has some resistance to their blades. The ghost strikes Mineo, trying to drain the life energy out of him. However, he shrugs off the effects. Miyoshi manages to keep up the chanting, while drawing his sword. Kachamaru casts 'stage sword' and a magical bokken grows from his clenched fist.^[6]

Blows rain down on the spirit, and are slowly weakening it. The shrine maiden keeps reducing its spiritual power, but it is putting up some resistance. What they need is a good distraction to shred the last of it's defences.

Suddenly, Kokuma can bear it no longer. He has been hiding behind Kachamaru's illusory scenery for too long. His friends need him. He steps from the illusion, which to the others looks as though he's materialised from nowhere. He swings his club at the ghost. He screams "Yaaaaaah!" the tetsubo connects, and passes right through. The ghost starts to lose cohesion, and explodes in a myriad of cold sparks. The incense sticks all blow out, and the prayer strips shred in a wind that never existed. The ghost is exorcised. Kokuma steps back behind the illusion as the others stand stunned.

Kachamaru is first to speak. "Good thing that spiritual Ainu came when it did. It must have drawn the wrath of the evil spirit."

The others are still speechless. Finally Mineo breaks the silence.

"Anyone like a nice cup of tea?"

They celebrate their victory with tea. Mineo doesn't know tea ceremony, but fills cups with hot water and a tea-bag instead.

"Do you think the Ainu spirit might like some tea? We could leave it here behind this fallen log."

From behind the illusion Kokuma's voice can be heard. "The Ainu sprit likes milk and two sugars!" Luckily the shrine maiden was not listening at that point.

They ask her what it was. She isn't entirely sure, but suspects that it is a manifestation of an intense hatred. The others put the pieces together. The headman's wife has a severe dislike of anything Ainu. Her thoughts unwittingly became an evil spirit, and needed agents to assault the Ainu. The Oni were only happy to oblige once the spirit found the right incentives: Gems, precious metals and plenty of flesh to eat. Now that the manifestation is vanquished, what then for it's creator?

Mineo escorts the girl back to the village. He hands over some medicinal herbs, and presses a gold coin into her hand.^[7]

"You're a brave lady. Thank you and farewell."

As he turns to go, a messenger comes from the headman's house.  The lady is gravely ill. She has fallen into a coma, and injuries have appeared on her body as if from nowhere. The shrine maiden gathers her things and prepares to leave.

Mineo calls after her. "But I never even caught...your name!"

Back on the hillside, the others see Oni approaching. They hide behind Kachamaru's illusion, and wait. The Oni are demanding payment. They were apparently promised Gems and precious metals in return for the destruction of the Ainu village. Kachamaru mimics the lady's voice, and tells them that the deal is off. There will be no payment. The Oni start getting militant and announce that without pay, there will be no further fighting. They leave.

Once Mineo has returned, our heroes decide to go back to their village. It's a pleasant walk through the wood. They spread the word that the village raids are off, due to a lack of finance. The Oni soon stop their attacks. Mineo decides to compose an epic poem about their adventure.

Once back, the four of them are welcomed as heroes. The winter is far from over, but one of the villagers has discovered a store of food that the Oni have left behind. It's time to celebrate!

They build a big fire, and roast meat and fish and make pine-needle soup. The villagers gather around for a mid-winter party. Mineo has finished his poem, and recites it to the assembled crowd. They love it!

Miyoshi clears his throat and is about to recite one of his poems, but he sees Kokuma heft his tetsubo, his wife stops stroking his stubbly beard, and picks up a hot skewer. In the wood, wolves start to howl. He decides not to after all.

"Let's have another cup of sleet!" He says.

Just what you need after a hard winter in the wood: A local poet turning nicely over an open fire...And roasted Owl.

[1] ...And the Shaolin temple!"

[2] Ri: Unit of measurement, about 2.4 miles. "2D6 Ri" is the usual method of determining something that is a long way away, usually a stray arrow, or accidentally dropped weapon.

[3] Four years have passed since the siege. Get on with it!

[4] "I have some pulses and a little curd for your refreshment."

[5] Bull, duck and handle.

[6] Insert charging light-sabre noise here.

[7] Usually the kiss of death in the Bushido game - ask 'Lucky.'

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