Episode 4

Lunchtime: Fishsticks!

Mal is up next. The others are expecting forest terrain, but are surprised when a warehouse is selected. – Four little red robots spring out of their create and rush and tumble around the place, climbing on crates and barrels and boxes. Mal takes a stand between two bits of racking. In his mind he fancies it going on seemingly forever – possibly containing the Ark of the Covenant somewhere in the depths.

He doesn't have much time to think before the robots are on him. He fends off one, while electrocuting the next. There is a short sharp scrap, with little red robots being tossed in the air, one might easily imagine a large cloud with random arms and legs protruding from it. Every time Mal tosses one robot away to pummel and electrocute the others, it runs back to be replaced with a different one. As Mal becomes worn down he takes drastic action. He hefts a crate and drops it on one of the little buggers.

It struggles under the weight. Mal disables one with a shock to the leg, and the other with a remove leg manoeuvre which leaves it furiously stumping around in circles. The shocked one plants a stunning blow to Mal’s legs in return, nearly breaking one. – With a sweep of the staff, Mal despatches it into the bowels of the warehouse. Someone shouts, “Fore!”

 – The second one is simply demonstrating the Coriolis effect, while the third has managed to lift the box in a bench press. However, with all its motors struggling to keep the thing from dropping, there is nothing left to toss the box away. In the end, the safety valves blow, and the box drops to keep the little thing pinned beneath it forever. The robot keeper comes over to look at more robot wreckage. He starts to cry!

A round of applause ripples around the arena.

Marigold steps up to help Mal limp from the stage- lucky he brought a staff with him!

Now it’s Marigold’s turn. The spinner spins and rest on a different setting – Urban landscape!

The WB-MK.2 robot is thin and angular and mean. – It also has big feet! It blasts Marigold, who suddenly disappears. Lasers flicker from the thing’s chest, searching for the bunny-eared girl. Marigold gets up close and personal, slashing with Zang- her bladed weapon that looks like the sharp end of a Guandao with a handle behind the blade. At the same time she launches its sister weapon Zing – which loops out on an outrun like a sheepdog, and returns like a boomerang.

Marigold is taking the lead from the others, in going for the legs. She gets a kicking and a punching for her trouble – but manages to grip a hydraulic hose in the knee section of the robot- who immediately tries to shake her off. After a merry dance, like going around a well-armed and armoured maypole, Marigold part cuts- part wrenches the thing free. As well as spattering the robot with slippery oil, she hampers its ambulation somewhat. – With the girl clinging on, it limps into the centre of the mock village. Marigold makes a dive for Zang, which is being more like a stick than a boomerang. The robot wrenches a mock war-memorial off its pedestal and brings it smashing down. In the dust, Marigold is but an empty hollow. – Her invisibility isn’t absolute! – She flings Zang again and transfers to the other leg, hoping to cripple the robot again. It lumps her a good one in the head, just as Zang flies into the air again. The robot lurches suddenly to the left, in order to avoid the return trajectory. – But as luck would have it, Zang clips a chimney pot, sending sparks into the air. The projectile dips slightly and as Marigold wrenches another hose free immobilising the robot, Zang thuds hard into the back of its head, impaling it. A cheer goes up, and the robot keeper bursts into tears again. –Phew!

Sienna is next. Spinny-spin spin…..Forest! (Again!) She chooses the CS-Hunter robot. – A tank on squat legs. She wastes no time in closing the gap to it, as missiles and bullets kick up dirt at her feet. She flips onto its back and sinks a blade into the turret. The blade starts to warm, then it starts to smoulder then it starts to cut through innards and armour plating like a hot knife. Through butter-smeared toast, the others send up a cheer of encouragement. Sienna is not having it her own way, as the turret of the robot starts spinning around.

 Sienna turns her attention to the ammunition stored in the side-pods of the robot fuselage. – Despite spinning at R-17 speed, she manages to super-heat it until the detonators cook-off and explode. This sends a spray of deadly cannon fire around the arena like a Catherine wheel. Sienna is getting rather dizzy. – But with a force of will, she hangs onto her knife. – Moments later she manages to draw a second knife and like a terminator robot, plunges this into the innards of the CS-Hunter. Various gears and cogs explode unexpectedly from its insides, and as the spinning slows, it is obvious that Sienna is victorious. – Although walking in a straight line is still something of a challenge!

Last to enter the –(forest again) arena is Cerise. She knows what is about to happen. –She hands the Robot keeper a handkerchief on the way in. – Instead of attacking the legs of the spin-shield robot, she dodges its opening salvo and leaps for its back. Ducking under the two whirling shields, she manages to attack the gimbals upon which the shield spins.

“Ohh! Right in the gimbals!” is heard from a rejuvenated Mal.

Several attacks later, Cerise has managed to partly sever the arm holding the shield. Now rather unbalanced, like a badly-loaded washing machine the thing starts to rattle and shimmy across the forest floor. Cerise slips to the ground, but is clunked in the head by the shield as she does so. Stunned, she slips back and is about to be made into mincemeat, when the loose shield buckles completely and spins off into a thicket. – With her thick-ear still smarting, Cerise finishes off the robot with a flourish. – the keeper passes the wringing wet handkerchief back to her as she strides to the bleachers and the robot corkscrews itself into the dirt floor.

Iris’ opponent starts the proceedings with “Let me tell you how you are about to die….” Iris counters with “Let me tell you about my mother!” – The judges award her victory on a technicality!

The Colonel and the VIPs discuss the proceedings. final score is as follows:

Kids: seven.

Robots: nil.

– Although Little Bee is rather sore that she was denied proper victory over the robot. – She is all for packing her bags and leaving. – The others are not interested though, as they see their mugshots on the scrolls of the Colonel and Miss Hathaway, Ernö and Erin. There also seems to be some input from others on a conference call. – One by one, the portraits are marked with red dots and blue stars, and some with the emblem of Atlas- a hatchet within a cog within a notched wheel. Cerise has an inkling that Atlas is going to play a big part in their future…..